Look Cool Now! Ask Me How!
by: jesus
Here are surefire ways to look cool while breaking the bank and becoming the envy of your friends:
1. Work in the corporate and wear a faux hawk. But no DIY kits must be harmed, run to the nearest BenchFix salon! (Note: Variations of the fauxhawk now come as undercuts and semi-mullets.)
2. Start a band. Nuff said.
3. Try all sorts of drugs regularly and tell all your friends about it. Then tell your momma your paycheck went up your nose.
4. Read a book and be seen. Any bestseller will do. Make sure you discuss it with your friends afterwards. Aloud.
5. Take a photo of you with your middle finger up. It’s called a “fuck you” sign.
6. Use the word “poser”, and use it a lot.
7. Use the word “emo”, and use it a lot.
8. Call your female friends “dude”.
9. Call everyone “dude”.
10. Call yourself a “rocker”.
Do you want more tips about any lifestyle subject and your over-all well-being? Suggestions are welcome, drop us a line at the comments section.
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Today, the universe will conspire against your little finger. Your lucky item - a full metal glove. Keep your hands in your pockets, and the risk of you losing one of your phalanges will narrow significantly to 1 in 2.

You forgot instigate a cult-like following by means of a ridiculously funny albeit bogus news site :3
hey beh! wanna fuck?
beh? i thought you only reserved that endearment for bouffard?
taken into consideration, but it is a given fact that on most occassions, while making a list, ten is always the magic number.
dude…
this is good stuff. =)
your a poser emo, dude!
what blasphemy! “your” should be “you’re”, dude!
So you’re a grammar Nazi, too, now, eh?
yes! i have special gas chambers and incinerators for self-righteous grammar jews.