The Plaza Housing Gazette

Rent-a-Private-Army: Lucrative Venture for 2010, Analyst Predicts

AMPATUAN PROVINCE – “I’m telling you mam/sir, it’s gonna be a HIT this year!!” said Karlo Gay Caparas in a press meeting in line with his recent comeback to the foray of television series (or teleserye) directing, with a new show called “CSI-Maguindanao”. The comment was not unlike that of one Commander Kontra, a social [...]

Man Announced Clinically Dead; Resurrected

CEBU CITY – A hit-and-run victim lives again after two hours of being clinically dead.

Prokopio Manggubat Jr., single, age 38, Filipino, Roman Catholic, was run over yesterday at 9:30PM by a raging Ceres Liner bus at the intersection of the M. Bacalso highway. The accident crushed the man and sent him flying some distance straight into a gutter. However, the bus vanished into thin air after the incident and on-lookers did not see the plate numbers of the vehicle. They were, however, completely sure that it was a Ceres Liner.

Year to End on the 31st of December

VATICAN – In a rare case of understanding, religious leaders the world over have come to an agreement on the validity of a prophesy that has been loosely credited to Nostradamus. The prophesy, detailed on an ancient scroll estimated to be at the least 3 months old and bearing mystic art of what appears to be a scantily-clad high priestess lifting a bottle of sacred wine, foretells the end of the year on approximately 23:59 on the 31st of December.

PHG Staff Wiped Out From The Face of the Earth

PLAZA HOUSING – In a bizarre apocalyptic turn of events, the entire staff of the Plaza Housing Gazette have been effectively wiped out from the face of the earth, thus explaining the extended lack of new material on the news site. Initial investigations by the NBI have it that the disappearance may have been the direct consequence of a hydrogen bomb dropped on the unsuspecting staff’s headquarters, evidenced by the large mushroom cloud still clearly visible from a kilometer away.

Ex-Front Page Picture Proves Too Trying

CEBU CITY – Members of the Plaza Housing Gazette decided today that the previous front page picture (see “Mahal and Mura Run For Congress”) was too disturbing even for their own twisted tastes. To make amends for their gruesome foray, they decided to replace the front page picture with this nice picture of “smiling happy people” with a cardboard cutout of US President Barack Obama.